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The Fappening: iCloud, Jennifer Lawrence Not Breached

The Fappening is about leaked stolen “acquired” explicit photos? Not so much, mostly not so explicit and technology only gets a cameo. The Fappening is mostly about a post sexual, post racial, post thinking bunch of mammals that can’t get over our mammalness (and all the senseless shame that still entails).

enTAIL? I’ll show you some TAIL!

While there have been lots of headlines saying “iCloud was hacked,” Apple has directly said that iCloud wasn’t breached (vs hacked is something the lawyers will explain).

However, the “person” (let’s dehumunize him “it” right from the start) behind the leaks has intimated the images actually came from multiple sources, which should at least partially defuse Apple’s potential culpability. Nevertheless, the easily outraged and headline writers everywhere have been baying for Apple’s blood, saying all of the fappened people and their fappened bits are belong to Cupertino.

Apple discovered last week and then quickly patched the vulnerability supposedly used to steal at least some of the images. However, their apparent failing was that the company moved more slowly than the thieves once the hack was published publicly.

And, what exactly are we looking at? The greater majority of the images are people, mostly Hollywood starlets, hanging out in various states of undress, often not particularly sexy at all. Often the most embarrassing thing is how happy they look (if such a thing can be embarrassing).

Chances are you’ve taken pictures of yourself doing the same or similar things, what were YOU thinking? Meh, that was then. It was fun at the moment and now 10 days, 10 months or 10 years later and we can’t even bothered to be embarrassed, really.

If you’re still embarrassed give yourself a few more years of Monday mornings (as well as a few more pounds) to get over it.

Sigh, turn the page.

The Fappening Bits


The person most cited as an aggrieved party in the Fappening is Jennifer Lawrence. And, given the films she’s made, how much of her was left to see? Begging the question was her violation moral or commercial? Hmm, tell it to the judge.

To wit, are the stolen photos more or less “revealing” than her movies? And, why is it immoral even to ask the question?

Which brings up perhaps another point — what exactly are we disgusted with here? That these very public people had some part of their private lives shown in public without their permission? Honestly, we’ve been watching TMZ and reading US Weekly for years in the hopes of such details and now we’ve got ’em in spades.

Or, was something else on display?

Before the Fappening, Ms Lawrence was arguably the best actress of her generation, whip smart and beautiful. And, given her body of work to date, we’ve pretty much “seen” her and that is pretty much that.

Today, after the Fappening, Ms Lawrence is arguably the best actress of her generation, whip smart and beautiful. And, given the images acquired leaked stolen from her iCloud account, we’ve pretty much “seen” her and that is pretty much that.

Do we think less of Ms Lawrence today because of these pictures? Not even a question, is it? In fact, it’s not even a question for any of the people, mostly Hollywood starlets, depicted in the stolen photos.

Now, ask yourself how you’d feel about the stolen pictures if they were of your child’s teacher, your daughter or son or a neighbor? It shouldn’t matter, really, but I’d be surprised if the teacher managed to keep his or her job.

The question of victimhood gets messier the closer it gets to ourselves — silly mammalian shame.

Fappening the Paparazzi


Should we hate the “person” (let’s focus our animus on a single culpable party here) that uncovered and published these images? That would be like hating the paparazzi, who are clearly detestable people… Aren’t we? I mean they?

And, what about the other people, mostly Hollywood starlets, revealed in the stolen photographs? Some, like Victoria “Wasn’t Me” Justice, have made a point of not exposing themselves onscreen or otherwise. But I don’t know. Has she been personally violated or is it her brand that has been damaged and is it possible to separate the two?

That said, of the young women depicted, I’d bet at least one is plotting to take advantage of the pictures (options are being sold as we speak) to push their careers forward. Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian weren’t shy about using their bits to launch their careers.

Would such a play diminish the victimhood of those who might seek redress rather than extended fame? Silly shameless mammals.

Assuming the “person” gets caught, tried, fined and sent to jail for some length of time, will that assuage our guilty outrage or just make it all the more titillating the next time some starlets’ off-camera bits are thrust involuntarily into the spotlight?

Yeah, you are right — we should make him dress like Perez as Miley and then shoot him.

Then again, Blame Canada! The Fappening must be mostly their fault, though (those rich bastards at) Apple should get a little blame for something…

What’s your take?

P.S. If you have an iPhone, iPad or iPod touch, to protect against this type of attack, Apple advises all users to always use a strong password and enable two-step verification. Both of these are addressed on their website at http://support.apple.com/kb/ht4232.

Images: Perez Hilton