Behold the Franken-iPhone, an iPhone 5S with a Liquidmetal enclosure holding a 4.3-inch LCD will result in the product being delayed? Totally Apple…

Geez Louise, people, enough with the bizarre, unfounded and seriously insane rumors! Behold the Franken-iPhone 5S, a smartphone with a Liquidmetal enclosure holding a 4.3-inch LCD that’s missing various bits and bobs just because. Sounds totally, not, like Apple.

Whereas the iPhone gets tons of praise for the beauty of its design and manufacture, some users complain bitterly over how easy it is to scratch or otherwise damage. Liquidmetal, a technology that Apple owns the exclusive rights to, could resolve those issues.

Boy Genius Report, which seems to have pulled the idea from thin air, or somewhere less savory, claims that the iPhone 5S will feature a Liquidmetal enclosure, which would be easier/cheaper to make, extremely light and much less prone to damage.

Apple’s iPhone 5S is most certainly being mass manufactured at this exact second, which is normal lead time of two to three months before launch … What’s going to be different this time? Just an upgraded processor and camera? … [O]ne thing that could be the most important element of the phone, any phone, has just started to bubble up after being overlooked for years, and that is what material the case is going to be made out of. My prediction is that we are going to see a LiquidMetal case for the first time on an iPhone…

For what it’s worth, Apple was recently awarded a patent covering the mass production of Liquidmetal.

This a really cool idea, yet people have been working to perfect the production of Liquidmetal and its ilk for decades. As secretive as Apple is, it seems unlikely they’ve managed to a.) lick manufacturing issues and b.) produce millions of iPhones using that technology while attracting zero attention.

Franken-iPhone 5S is d-d-d-doomed [until later]!

Being an unholy agglomeration of found parts, the iPhone 5S will also be missing a few crucial things, as well.

According to a dog’s breakfast basket of sources, the iPhone 5S could be delayed due to: a shortage of fingerprint sensor + LCD chips, lack of screen coating chemical and, now, because Apple has decided to adopt a 4.3-inch display.

Whereas Apple may indeed be facing chip and chemical supply issues, it is unlikely the company doesn’t have robust contingencies in place. Whatever you want to say about Tim Cook, he is an unrivaled supply chain genius and these are supply chain problems.

Further, that Apple would replace the current 4-inch display with a 4.3-inch model late in the game and delay the iPhone 5S release as a result? Poppycock! Bollocks! Cow cookies!

There is an infinitesimally small chance that Apple would introduce another screen size — platform fragmentation is a game for fools and fandroids…

What’s your take?