Lonely this valentines day?
Aw….Just remember. Nobody loves you on any of the other days either.
But for those single ladies and gentlemen who still wish to involve themselves in the spirit of that sugar coated, teddy bear fluff of a holiday, we have the gifts for you.
#1 Rejected Candy Hearts
Forget that cheesy tiptoeing around the bush- tell your intended really how you feel. This new Twitter phenomenon has exploded with rejected candy heart ideas, from ‘Where’s my Child Support?’ to ‘Be my “It’s Complicated.”
#2 Complicated Cards
What better way to confuse someone in the friend-zone or someone you just want to puzzle endlessly with your feelings. Cards can range from a sweet and simple ‘I hate you’ to well…..This.
#3 Send a pile of sh*t.
That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, there is actually a service in this world that caters to delivering animal dung anonymously to whoever the client chooses. A favorite of jealous ex girlfriends on Valentines Day, choices range from an exotic elephant dung, to gorilla, and cow pats.
#4 Unflattering G-Strings
For the partner who feels its just about time to break up without doing the dirty deed. This G-string range is sure to send anyone for the hills.
#5 A Voodoo Doll
Had that special someone forsake you? Feeling pretty angry about it? Have no fear- voodoo will take care of them! Stick pins in all sorts of places while thinking of your ex beloved. A wonderfully healthy way to spend valentines alone.
So whatever your relationship status this year for Valentines Day – don’t forget that it doesn’t just have to be a time for cheesy love birds, and single people can have fun too!